The Wrestling Dating Game
by Angel Hunter
Summary: This is a little skit-type thing done by AllHailPrincessSmokey, and Nicki202 (She's mah sis). Maybe we could recieve e-mails if you want to be on the show.
1. The First Show

The Dating Game  
  
Am: Welcome to Pointl-.... Uhm... The Dating Game! I'm your Hostess, Am- chan! This is the show where we take an eligble bachelor, or bachelorette, and introduce them to three other men or women. today's bachelorette, Nicki, my sister! Welcome to the show, Nicki!  
  
Nicki: Ok. Bring in da men!  
  
Am: Ok, first is bachelor number one. He likes to make fires, he is quiet, and he loves ravioli!  
  
Bachelor1: ......  
  
Am: Then there's bachelor number two! He's very quiet, he has an awesome tatoo, and he will always protect you if you choose him.  
  
Audience: Awwwwww....  
  
Bachelor2: ....Hi.  
  
Am: Ok, bachelor number three describes himself as laid back, but he still has an xtreme side to him.  
  
Bachelor3: Hi Nicki.  
  
Am: Ok, ask away!  
  
Nicki: Bachelor one, If I was in the hospital dying, how often would you bring me presents?  
  
Bacherlor1: .........  
  
Nicki: Uhm.. Bachelor 2... Where's your favourite place to be romantic?  
  
Bachelor2: ...Uh.. Um, well... I guess at a nice restaraunt, or something...  
  
Nicki: Ok, bachelor 3... How much of a "risk-taker" are you?  
  
Bachelor3: Well, I guess I'm a pretty big risk taker. I mean, in what I do I have to be sort of extreme. I've toned it down a bit, but I still do a lot of high-risk manuvers.  
  
Nicki: Uhm... Bachelor 1, What would you do for me if I was pregnant?  
  
Bachelor1: .....ravioli.  
  
Nicki: Bachelor 2... What's up wit dat?  
  
Bachelor2: Uh... Um... I... don't know?  
  
Nicki: Uhm Bachelor...3... What colour are your blinds?  
  
Bachelor3: Blinds?.... Uh... Green.  
  
Nicki: Yummy. Bachelor 1, truthfully... Are you gay?  
  
Bachelor1: .....ravioli.  
  
Nicki: Mmhm... Bachelor 2... What would you do for me if I had cancer?  
  
Bachelor2:.... Well... I would make sure you had the best treatment for it.  
  
Audience: Awwwwww.  
  
Nicki: Bachelor 3... Are you single? For real?  
  
Bachelor3: Am I single? ..... No. Why am I here?  
  
Am: SH!  
  
Bachelor3: What is this??  
  
Nicki: Uhm... Bachelor 1... -  
  
Bachelor3: Why am I tied up???!  
  
Am: Don't make me get out the taser again, number 3!  
  
Nicki: Time to play the game! Bachelor 1, what kind of movie is your favourite?  
  
Bachelor1: ........action.  
  
Am: !  
  
Nicki: Aaaction. Bachelor 2... If I was to sing to you, what would you do?  
  
Bachelor2: Listen.  
  
Audience: Awwwww!  
  
Am: Isn't that just loverly?  
  
Nicki: Bachelor 3, How would you propose to me?  
  
Bachelor3: I would do it in my own extreme way. Maybe during something like bungee jumping or something.  
  
Nicki: Ok... My choice is... this is very hard... Bachelor two....  
  
Am: Ok, bachelor two, reveal yourself!  
  
Bachelor2: *comes out from behind the screen* Hi.  
  
Am: It's.... *drum roll* BROCK LESNAR!  
  
Brock: *shyly gives Nicki some flowers*  
  
Audience: Awwww!  
  
Nicki: I was going to say Bachelor 3... but the part where I asked what you'd do if I was dying with cancer... *teary-eyed*  
  
Am: *pushes the screen away to reveal Jeff Hardy and Kane*  
  
Jeff: *tied up* Can I go now?  
  
Am: Not yet. I still need your signature on this paper stating you won't sue me for kidnapping you.  
  
Kane: *raises his hands, then lowers them and fires break out in the audience*  
  
Audience: AAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!  
  
Kane: Ravioli.  
  
Am: Yes, Kane. It's backstage.  
  
Kane: *leaves*  
  
Am: That was today's Dating Game! See you tomorrow! 


	2. The Second Show

The Dating Game  
  
Nicki: Hello, and welcome to The Dating Game! I'm your host, Roger Lodge(C)! Errrr... Nicki! Today's bachelorette, my sister! Amanda!  
  
Am: It's a puh-leasure to be here! Hy-uck!  
  
Nicki: Bachelor 1 says he's God's gift to women! He wants to prove it.  
  
Bachelor1: Hey!  
  
Nicki: Bachelor 2 is an O...OLAY! Olay olay olay olaaa... He says he's great and people love him!  
  
Bachelor2: Hi.  
  
Nicki: Bachelor 3 loves to joke around. He's lookin for a good time... with love... nothing naughty! GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER!!!  
  
Audience: Hahahaha!  
  
Bachelor3: Yo.  
  
Am: Bachelor 1. If I brought you home a thong or some such thing, would you wear it?  
  
Bachelor1: Only if you would wear a thong too.  
  
Am:... Right, ok. Bachelor 2. What are your favorite colors?  
  
Bachelor2: Everybody knows that!  
  
Am: Answer!  
  
Bachelor2: Red.  
  
Am: White and blue. Yeah. Bachelor 3. If I fell out of a tree and broke my arms, would you brush my hair for me?  
  
Bachelor3: Yes...I'd wash it for you too.  
  
Audience: Awwww!  
  
Am: That's very sweet, bachelor 3. Bachelor 1, what's your idea of a good time?  
  
Bachelor1: Well...uhm... Making out?  
  
Am: ..... Bachelor 2, when you do something right, how do you let people know you are proud of yourself?  
  
Bachelor2: I tell them!  
  
Bachelor3: Over and over again!  
  
Am: *giggles* Bachelor 3, if we went to a club, or something, and some men tried to hurt me, what would you do?  
  
Bachelor3: I'd kick their asses!  
  
Audience: Awwwwww...  
  
Am: Bachelor 1, if I broke up with you, would you win me back? If yes, then how?  
  
Bachelor1: Yes. I'm very charming.  
  
Am: Yeah, I'm sure. Bachelor 2, what is your best feature?  
  
Bachelor2: My full head of hair!  
  
Am: *starts laughing hysterically*  
  
Bachelor3: *Laughing*  
  
Am: *through laughter* Bachelor 3, what is your greatest fear?  
  
Bachelor3: Losing someone I love.  
  
Audience: Awwwwww....  
  
Am: Bachelor 1. What is your best feature?  
  
Bachelor1: I'm very strong.  
  
Am: I see... Bachelor 2. If someone told you I was dying, and you were in the middle of a title match, what would you do?  
  
Bachelor2: I'd get my title!  
  
Am: *sneers* Bachelor 3, same question.  
  
Bachelor3: I'd leave and stay with you and try to get you really good help.  
  
Audience: Awwwwww....  
  
Nicki: Who is your choice???  
  
Am: Bachelor 3, no competition.  
  
Nicki: Come on out Bachelor3!  
  
Bachelor3: *walks out and it's....*  
  
Nicki: It's!!!! *drum roll* EDGE!  
  
Edge: *hugs Am*  
  
Audience: Awwwwwwww....  
  
Am: *crying* You're so sweet!  
  
Nicki: *pushes the screen away to reveal : Bachelor 1- Jericho and Bachelor 2- Kurt Angle* Yayayayaaaaaaa!  
  
Edge: Bye.  
  
Nicki: Thanks for coming or watching The Dating Game! *skips off with Brock Lesnar* 


	3. The Third Show

The Dating Game  
  
Nicki: Hi! Welcome to The Dating Game! I'm your hostess, Nicki! Today's bachelor... THE FIRST GUY THAT WANTED TO DO THIS! In other words... Kane!  
  
Kane: ......ravioli?  
  
Nicki: After the show. Our first bachelorette, describes herself as a real- life-Barbie!  
  
B-ette1: Hey.  
  
Nicki: Bachelortette 2 is fun to be with, but if you try to do anything she doesn't want, WATCH OUT! And there's a LOT she doesn't wanna do!  
  
B-ette2: Hello.  
  
Nicki: Bachelorette 3 is-  
  
Kane: Ravioli?  
  
Nicki: Erm... No.  
  
Brock: ...Hi.  
  
Nicki: Why are you here?????  
  
Brock: .......I brought you flowers.  
  
Audience: Awwwwww....  
  
Nicki: Thanks but I'm...hosting a show...  
  
Brock: Oops...................*Sits down*  
  
Nicki: Anyways, bachelorette 3 says she has legs and she knows how to use them.  
  
B-ette3: Hi.  
  
Nicki: Ask away Kaney.  
  
Kane: ....1.... Do you like.... ravioli?  
  
B-ette1: I'm not a big fan of canned food... but if its made right then its good.  
  
Kane: I like ravioli.  
  
B-ette1: That's good.  
  
Kane: ....2.... Do... you like.... masks?  
  
B-ette2: Oh no... I'm not into that kind of stuff...  
  
Kane: ........ 3........ ....... do you... have hair?  
  
B-ette3: I've got legs. No hair on them.  
  
Kane: ....... Oh.... 1.... If I made... ravioli... would you... eat it?  
  
B-ette1: It depends on how you make it.  
  
Kane: I.... cook it.  
  
B-ette1: It depends on how you cook it.  
  
Kane: .....2.... What do you think... of the color... red?  
  
B-ette2: It doesn't look that great on me.  
  
Kane: ..... 3.... do you.... like... tall people?  
  
B-ette3: I'm tall myself. I have very long legs.  
  
Kane: .....legs... 1.... What if... I made... ravioli.... with... spices?  
  
B-ette1: Spices are good. Everything's good when its a little spicy.  
  
Kane: ......yay. ...... 2.... Do you... like fire?  
  
B-ette2: I don't like bad boys.  
  
Kane: ........3..... If I..... lost.... would you... still.... love me?  
  
B-ette3: Only if you'll still love me. And my legs.  
  
Audience: Awwwwwwww........  
  
Nicki: Now its time to choose! Who will it be? B-ette1, 2, or 3?  
  
Kane: ....ravioli.  
  
B-ette1: *walks out* Oh...  
  
Nicki: It's TERRI!  
  
Terri: *sniffle*  
  
Kane: *hugs her...tightly* Ravioli.  
  
Terri: H...elp...  
  
Kane: *walks away holding Terri...by the neck* Ravioli!  
  
Nicki: *pulls screen back to reveal Molly Holly and Stacy Keibler (throwing a fit)*  
  
Stacy: Why didn't he choose me?! I have legs!  
  
Nicki: Yeah, yeah...  
  
END 


	4. The Fourth Show

The Dating Game  
  
Am: Welcome to The Dating Game, I'm your hostess, Amanda! And this is Edge, my boyfriend!  
  
Edge: Hello. *waves to the camera*  
  
Am: Today's bachelorette is the Women's Champion, Trish Stratus!  
  
Man In Audience: Stratusfy me!  
  
Trish: *Smiles* Hey.  
  
Am: Ok, today's bachelors! Bachelor 1 is a sweet guy, who describes himself as 'Cool, because I'm _BLANK_'.  
  
B1: Hey!  
  
Am: Bachelor 2 is Tall, Evil, and cruel!  
  
B2: Respect me!  
  
Am: Bachelor 3. Bachelor 3... He's... *teary-eyed* I'm speechless. He's great.  
  
B3: Thank you.  
  
Edge: What about me?  
  
Am: You're great too. Ok, Trish, ask away!  
  
Trish: Bachelor 1... If I lost my championship, how would you comfort me?  
  
B1: I'd tell you it's cool, cause I'm-  
  
Am: SHUT!  
  
B1: Whoops....  
  
Trish: Bachelor...2.. If I was to fall... what would you do?  
  
B2: Nothing, because I'd be the one making you fall! Respect me!  
  
Trish: Bachelor 3... What nickname would you make up for me?  
  
B3: I'm not good at making up nicknames. But I guess whatever you thought was ok...  
  
Audience: Awwww?  
  
Trish: Bachelor 1... same question  
  
B1: Dragon.  
  
Trish: Bachelor 2 same question.  
  
B2: I'd call you woman, and you'll respect my decision!  
  
Trish: I like bad boys.  
  
B2: Respect me!  
  
Trish: You respect me.  
  
B2: *seems stunned into silence*  
  
Trish: Bachelor 3... If I was to get raped... what would you do?  
  
B3: .....um..... I.... Don't really know. I never thought about something like that.  
  
Trish: Bachelor 1... If I was pregnant and didn't know the father how would you support me?  
  
B1: I'd tell you it's cool c-....er..... I... I'd do whatever.... er... you wanted me to?  
  
Audience: .....  
  
Man in Audience: Stratusfy me, Trish!  
  
Trish: *Smiles* Bachelor 2... Same question.  
  
B2: I wouldn't! Respect me!  
  
Trish: Bachelor 3... Same question.  
  
B3: I'd be there for you as best I could.  
  
Audience: Awwwww!  
  
Trish: Bachelor 1... Whats your idea of a good time?  
  
B1: Anything cool! Everything is fun, if you look at it right! Or at least, it is to me, cause I.... Sorry.  
  
Am: You're quite forgiven.  
  
Trish: Bachelor 2... What do you do in your spare time?  
  
B2: I USED to ride my motorcycle!  
  
Trish: Bachelor 3.. How do you keep yourself entertained?  
  
B3: Well, I'd hang out with my brother, and... my other friends.  
  
Am: Well, Trish? Which bachelor is yours?  
  
Trish: Bachelor...1...2.  
  
Am: Which one will it be?  
  
Trish: Bachelor...*looks rushed and scared* BACHELOR TWO!!!  
  
Am: *looks terrified* Oh...  
  
B2: *reveals himself as.... THE UNDERTAKER! *evil music plays**  
  
Am: *gulp* I respect you, sir.  
  
Trish: Gee... That's more than I was hoping for.  
  
Am: .....er... Ok... See you two 'lovebirds' around.  
  
Taker: Are you mocking me?!  
  
Am: Eep! No sir! No sir!  
  
Taker: Better not be. *leaves*  
  
Trish: Um... *waits*  
  
Am: *pushes aside the screen to reveal.... RVD and Matt Hardy!*  
  
RVD: I'm RVD! *does the thumb motions*  
  
Am: Yes you are.  
  
Matt: Can I go now?  
  
Am: Go ahead.  
  
Matt: *leaves*  
  
Taker: *comes back in and started beating on RVD*  
  
RVD: *starts fighting him back*  
  
Am: Ok, that's all for today!  
  
Trish: *Walks over and kisses RVD on the cheek then walks away* Are you coming... Taker?  
  
Taker: *leaves with Trish*  
  
RVD: ??????? That was cool. *happy smiles*  
  
Am: .....er, ok.  
  
END 


	5. The Fifth Show

The Dating Game  
  
Nicki: Hi and welcome to The Dating Game!!! I'm your hostess, Nicki, and today we have Lita!!!!!  
  
Brock: *Sitting on a chair in the background*  
  
Lita: Hi, Nicki. It's good to be here!  
  
Nicki: That's great. Ok, bachelor one says he's funny and a big joker. IF you can ignore his sudden "fits" then he'll be great for you!  
  
B1: Hey.  
  
Nicki: Bachelor 2 can guard you and if you come near any blockings of paths while walking, he can move them for you, no matter how heavy.  
  
Audience: Awwwwww.......  
  
B2: Hello.  
  
Nicki: Bachelor 3 spends his time hanging out with his brother, and... hey.. Amanda thinks he's great!  
  
B3: Hi.  
  
Nicki: Start-a askin'!  
  
Lita: Ok. Bachelor 1, if I were in a very sad mood, what would you do to cheer me up?  
  
B1: I'd tell you some good jokes... and maybe play you a song...  
  
Lita: Sounds good! Bachelor 2, if I were stuck in the crowd, and had to leave because I had family problems, what would you do to get me out of the place?  
  
B2: If there was a really big crowd and they wouldn't let you through, I'd carry you through.  
  
Audience: Awwwwww......  
  
Lita: *smiles* Bachelor 3, what would you say is the best thing about yourself?  
  
B3: My muscles?  
  
Lita: .... Ok. Bachelor 1, what sort of talents do you have?  
  
B1: I can play any song on a kazoo, and when I feel its a good time to joke around, a joke comes to my mind right away!  
  
Lita: Sounds very cool! Bachelor 2, same question.  
  
B2: I'm strong.  
  
Lita: I see. Bachelor 3, same question.  
  
B3: I'd have to say... Sewing.  
  
Lita: Cool. Bachelor 1, what would you do if I left you?  
  
B1: Uhm... I'd be... mad...  
  
Lita: That's understandable. Bachelor 2, can you sing a song for me?  
  
B2: Right now?  
  
Lita: Of course.  
  
B2: *sings achy breaky heart*  
  
Audience: Awwwww.....  
  
Lita: That was nice of you! Bachelor 3, same thing.  
  
B3: Uh... *mumbling*  
  
Lita: Is that a no?  
  
B3: No... that was my song...  
  
Audience: .......  
  
Am in audience: He's so cute!  
  
Edge in audience: Hey!  
  
Am in audience: You are too! You're just not shy!  
  
Lita: Bachelor 1, play me... A nice song on your kazoo.  
  
B1: *Plays Lita's theme song on his kazoo*  
  
Edge in audience: *singing the words*  
  
Lita: Err... Very... lovely.... You can stop now.  
  
B1: *Plays Edge's theme*  
  
Edge in audience: You think you know me! You think you know me! you think you-  
  
Am in audience: *elbows him* Cut it out!  
  
Lita: ..... Bachelor 2, if I were very sick and I couldn't wrestle, what would you tell the boss to cover for me?  
  
B2: That you're sick.  
  
Lita: Ok. Bachelor 3, same question, except that I wasn't sick.  
  
B3: I'd tell R... the boss that you've come down with some terrible flu and that you're not well enough to be in the ring.  
  
Nicki: OK, Lita... Time to choosey-oooosy.  
  
Lita: Well... It was tough. Bachelor 1 seems like a nice guy, but he's not my type. Bachelor 2... Wow, he seems very sweet. And Bachelor 3... He's good too... But... I have to say... Bachelor 2.  
  
Bachelor 2: *Walks out*  
  
Nicki: It's... *drum roll* MARK HENRY!  
  
Lita: ...eep....  
  
Mark Henry: *Tries to hug Lita*  
  
Lita: *ducks away* Err... no offence... please....  
  
*The screen comes crashing down*  
  
Christian: YOU SHOULDA PICKED ME!!! *Hits the wall with his fists*  
  
Matt(Hardy): *Walks away with his head down*  
  
Lita: Oh, wait! Matt! *gets carried away by Mark Henry* Put me down! Pervert! *screams*  
  
Am in audience: Oh no! *chases after Matt* Wait for me!  
  
Edge in audience: Hey, come back! *follows Amanda*  
  
Christian: *stomping his feet*  
  
Nicki: That's all for today! Hope you enjoyed it.  
  
Brock: *Carries Nicki away*  
  
Audience: Awwwww.... *Leaves*  
  
Christian: *breaks chairs in the audience*  
  
END 


	6. The Sixth Show

The Dating Game  
  
Am: Welcome to The Dating Game. I'm your hostess, Amanda, and this is your host, Edge!  
  
Edge: Hi.  
  
Am: Today we're introducing our bachelorette... er... yeah... Uhm... Ok. *turns to the writer* BOB!  
  
Bob(the monkey): Eee ee oo?  
  
Am: What the hell is this?! He's not a bachelorette!  
  
Bob: Eee ee aa OO!  
  
Am: He is not! He isn't a bachelorette just because he likes guys!  
  
Bob: EEE AAA OO!!  
  
Am: Yeah, ok, fine! Here's our BACHELOR, Billy.  
  
Billy: Hiya!  
  
Am: Ok, here's todays.... Shit, what the hell?! BOB!  
  
Bob: OO OOE EEE!  
  
Am: I don't think today's BACHELORS are gonna be HAPPY about this!  
  
Bob: Eee ooa!  
  
Am: I don't want my ass kicked!  
  
Edge: I'll protect you!  
  
Audience: Awwwwww!  
  
Am: *hugs Edge* You're sweet, but these guys can kill us both.  
  
Edge: Oh....  
  
Am: Ok, Billy, try your hardest to sound like a girl... We'll leave the horrible surprise for later.  
  
Billy: *clears his throat*  
  
Am: Here's today's bachelors.... Bachelor 1.... He's big and tough, and he likes his beer....  
  
B1: What?  
  
Am: .... I said-  
  
B1: What?  
  
Am: ...... Bache-  
  
B1: What?  
  
Am: Shut up!  
  
B1: ........  
  
Am: Ok, Bachelor 2 is tall dark and handsome... (Or so Bob says). And he... Ok, here's bachelor 2....  
  
B2: If you-  
  
Am: No!  
  
B2: Ok.  
  
Am: Bachelor 3 is a slimy hairball.  
  
B3: HEY!  
  
Am: I never said I'd introduce you properly! Ok, Bi... Billette, ask away.  
  
Billy: *In a girly voice* Bachelor 1...  
  
B1: What?  
  
Billy: Bachelor 1, If I was-  
  
B1: What?  
  
Am: Don't start this again! I'll take out the tasers!  
  
Billy: Ok Bachelor 2, What's love got to do with it?  
  
B2: ??????  
  
Billy: *Waiting for an answer*  
  
B2: ......uh..... Something?  
  
Billy: Bachelor 3, how much money would you spend on me at dinner?  
  
B3: Well, I guess-  
  
B2: It doesn't matter what you think!  
  
B1: What?  
  
Am: SHUT UP!  
  
B1 and 2: .......  
  
B3: As I was saying-  
  
Am: It doesn't matter what you think!  
  
Billy: I WANT TO KNOW!  
  
B3: you sound like a man when you yell....  
  
Billy: *In a higher-pitched voice* I mean... I want to know...  
  
Bob: *laughing in a monkey-laugh*  
  
Edge: *snickering*  
  
Am: *barely keeping a straight face*  
  
B3: Ok... I guess as much as I had to... Whatever you ordered, I guess. I dunno.  
  
Billy: Ok, Bachelor 1...  
  
B1: What?  
  
Billy: If we went shopping for... clothes... what would you buy for me?  
  
B1: What?  
  
Billy: That's what I'm asking you! Silly.  
  
B1: What?  
  
Billy: Huh?  
  
B1: I don't shop!  
  
Billy: Bachelor 2... same question. *clears throat*  
  
B2: *shrugs*  
  
B1: What?  
  
B2: I shrugged!  
  
B1: What?  
  
B3: He-  
  
B2: It doesn't matter what you think!  
  
Am: *exasperated sigh* That's the last time these three are on my show.  
  
B3: What am I doing?  
  
B1: What?  
  
Billy: Well.. Can I pick now?  
  
Am: Please do....  
  
B1: What?  
  
B2: Finally! The-  
  
Am: A! Shut up!  
  
B1: What?  
  
Am: ARGH!  
  
Billy: Well.. Bachelor 1 seems kind of... -  
  
B1: What?  
  
Billy: Mean..? Bachelor 2... you...  
  
B2: It doesn't matter what you think!  
  
Billy: You're too loud. Bachelor 3, I pick you.  
  
Am: *gagging sounds*  
  
B3: *reveals himself as...... X-PAC!!!!!* Wh... You're.....  
  
Billy: Come give daddy a kiss!  
  
X-pac: *shrieks and runs away*  
  
Billy: *Chases X-Pac*  
  
Am: *pushes the screen away*  
  
Stone Cold: What?  
  
The Rock: If you Smelllllllllllll what the ROCK is cooking!  
  
Am: *rolls her eyes* Guys-  
  
Stone Cold: What?  
  
Am: I was say-  
  
The Rock: It doesn't matter what you say!  
  
Am: *eyes glow red* That's IT! *shocks them both with the tasers*  
  
Edge: *looks scared*  
  
Am: Bob! Drag their sorry asses out the back door! Edge, you too!  
  
Bob: *does so*  
  
Edge: *does too*  
  
Nicki in audience: Awwww....  
  
END 


	7. The Seventh Show

The Dating Game  
  
Nicki: Welcome to the Dating Game! I'm your hostess with the mostess, Nicki. Today's bachelor is Christian! Christian! At last you're on your own!  
  
Christian: Yeah!  
  
Nicki: Ok, Bachelorette one describes herself as 100% stratusfying.  
  
B-ette1: Hey.  
  
Nicki: Bachelorette two likes to sit on the beach in the sun and show off her ..  
  
B-ette2: Hi!  
  
Nicki: Bachelorette three is pretty daring when it comes to EVERYTHING!  
  
B-ette3: Helloooo.  
  
Nicki: Askin'.  
  
Christian: Bachelorette 1, what do you think of this? *plays a song on his kazoo*  
  
B-ette1: It's pretty good...  
  
Christian: Yeah! Bachelorette 2, what do you think of hats with pom-poms on them? Are they cool?  
  
B-ette2: They're just as cool as my legs!  
  
Christian: Yeah! Bachelorette 3, do you like funny guys?  
  
B-ette3: If they make fun of me I'll kick their ass.  
  
Audience: Awwwww...Er... Ah?  
  
Christian: .....oh.... Um.... Bachelorette 1, what is your best quality?  
  
B-ette1: My belt.  
  
Christian: ..... Bachelorette 2, what do you look for in men?  
  
B-ette2: I like guys that are taller than I am. And they have to like my legs.  
  
Christian: You seem to like legs too! Yeah! Ok, Bachelorette 3, what is the perfect romantic evening?  
  
B-ette3: Snuggling.  
  
Christian: *sigh of relief* Ok. Bachelorette 1, what do you think of this? *plays his theme on the kazoo*  
  
B-ette1: It's... interesting. For a kazoo.  
  
Christian: Long live the 'zoo! Bachelorette 2, what do you think of this? *plays 'Legs' on his kazoo*  
  
B-ette2: I like it!  
  
Christian: Yeah! Bachelorette 3, what sort of morals do you have?  
  
B-ette3: I might not be one to strip on stage.  
  
Christian: I see....... Ok, Bachelorette 1, what do you think of parties?  
  
B-ette1: They're great. As long as they're not boring and there's lots of different things to do.  
  
Edge in audience: Streamers!  
  
Am in audience: Sh!  
  
Christian: Bachelorette 2, what is you ideal evening?  
  
B-ette2: It depends on who I'm with.  
  
Christian: Oh. Bachelorette 3, what color is your hair?  
  
B-ette3: Kind of reddish.  
  
Nicki: Pickin' up!  
  
Christian: *plays 'Legs' on his kazoo*  
  
B-ette2: *Walks out and is Stacy Keibler not throwing a fit*  
  
Christian: Wahoo! She's got legs!  
  
B-ette2: And I know how to use them!  
  
Christian: *carries Stacy away*  
  
Nicki: *Pushes the screen into the audience by accident* Ooooops!!!  
  
Bob in audience: E eee ee aaa o aa!  
  
Nicki: Erp.  
  
*Behind the screen were Trish Stratus and Lita*  
  
Am in audience: That's it, Bob, I'm adopting a new Chimp!  
  
Bob in audience: Oo OO AAA EE!!! *attacks Edge*  
  
Edge in audience: AHHH!!!! *runs away*  
  
Bob in audience: *chases Edge away*  
  
**Backstage**  
  
Brock: *Pacing*  
  
Security Guard: Wasssuuuuuupppp??  
  
Brock: *Stops*  
  
S.G.: Whatsup?  
  
Stone Cold: What?  
  
Edge: *runs by*  
  
Bob: *runs by*  
  
Am: *runs by*  
  
Christian: *Walks by carrying Stacy Keibler*  
  
Stacy: I've got legs!  
  
END 


	8. The Eighth Show

The Dating Game  
  
A/N: We're adding our own original characters to this, because there's so little divas we know of in the WWE.  
  
Am: Hello, welcome to The Dating Game. I'm your hostess, Am! This is your host, Edge, and our new baby, Cooper, the chimpanzee!  
  
Cooper: *wearing a diaper* Ee ee! *hugs Edge*  
  
Edge: He's cute, but he's still a monkey, Amanda...  
  
Am: Shhh! You'll hurt Cooper's feelings! Ok, today's bachelor is..... Matt Hardy!  
  
Matt: Hi... Please don't give me bad people....  
  
Am: Today's bachelorettes! B-ette 1 describes herself as-  
  
Billy in audience: *Sitting with X-Pac on his lap*  
  
Am: Hey, you're distracting me! Get back in your seat, X-pac!  
  
X-Pac: I CAN'T!  
  
Am: Billy, let him go!  
  
Billy: Ok. *Let's go of his arms and when X-Pac stands up and tries to move he falls*  
  
Am: Stupid... Ok, B-ette 1 calls herself the toughest chick around!  
  
B-ette1: Yo.  
  
Am: B-ette 2 is daring, and single.  
  
B-ette2: Hello.  
  
Am: B-ette 3 says she loves the night, and the color red is beautiful.  
  
B-ette3: It is a pleasure to be on such a beautiful show, Amanda.  
  
Am: Ok, get to axin' Matt!  
  
Matt: Uhm... B-ette 1... Uhm... Say I wanted to get married but we only knew eachother for a week... what would you do/say?  
  
B-ette1: Screw you, man! Forget it!  
  
Matt: O..k... B-ette 2.... What would you say "moving farther into our relationship" means?  
  
B-ette2: I think it's when you tell your parther that you love them.  
  
Matt: B-ette 3, what would you do if I left you for someone else?  
  
B-ette3: I would come to you in the night and steal your soul, along with the other mortal.  
  
Matt: Er... B-ette 1, what kind of music do you listen to?  
  
B-ette1: I like heavy metal.  
  
Matt: B-ette 2, what kind of music would you want to listen to while, erm, cuddling?  
  
B-ette2: Well, anything soft and relaxing. I guess it depends on who I'm with, and what mood I'm in.  
  
Matt: B-ette 3, have you ever killed anyone?  
  
B-ette3: Yes, I have. I have never been caught yet, and I am positive I never will be.  
  
Am: *shakes her head*  
  
Cooper: *playing with Edge's hair*  
  
Edge: A little help here, Amanda?  
  
Am: Cooper, leave Daddy's hair alone, please.  
  
Cooper: Ee ee.... *hugs Edge again*  
  
Bob: *sulking in the corner*  
  
Nicki in audience: A MURDERER!!! CALL THE police...  
  
B-ette3: It is useless to call mortals such as them! I shall disappear without a trace as they arrive, leaving whoever called looking like an imbecile!  
  
Matt: B-ette 1, when I'm sick... what would you do?  
  
B-ette1: Tell you to get your lazy ass out of bed and walk it off! *laughs*  
  
Matt: B-ette 2, what kind of pet do you like?  
  
B-ette2: I like cats. Dogs are ok too though...  
  
Matt: B-ette 3, what kind of movies do you like?  
  
B-ette3: I love gore and horror!  
  
Matt: Of course you do. B-ette 1, what qualities do you look for in men?  
  
B-ette1: Men?! I don't LIKE men!  
  
Am: Er, sorry Matt, we were running short on women....  
  
Matt: B-ette 2, same question.  
  
B-ette2: Well, someone who understands me, and someone who will protect me.  
  
Audience: Awwwwww.....  
  
Matt: B-ette3, same question.  
  
B-ette3: I look for a fine neck.  
  
Am: Ok, Matty, choose!  
  
Matt: Bachelorette 2... and it wasn't a hard choice...  
  
B-ette2: *runs from behind the screen and throws her arms around Matt*  
  
Am: It's LITA!  
  
Lita: Finally!  
  
Matt: I know...  
  
Am: *pushes the screen aside to reveal Ami Frair (my original character, who likes girls), and Sorcha (another original character. She's a vampire, for those who hadn't guessed....)  
  
Sorcha: What a lovely neck you have, my dear boy.  
  
Matt: Er... *Walks away quickly with Lita*  
  
Am: That's all for today, friends! Tune in next time to see Matt's bro get bombarded by a horde of adoring fangirls!  
  
Jeff in audience: Hey! That wasn't in the agreement!  
  
Am: See you later! Edge, can you carry baby for me?  
  
Edge: *shakes his head and picks up Cooper*  
  
Cooper: *pulls Edge's hair*  
  
Bob: *follows them away*  
  
Brock in audience: *Looks at Nicki*  
  
Nicki in audience: Why have you been so quiet lately???  
  
END 


	9. The Confidential Show #1

The Dating Game Confidential  
  
Billy: Hiya! Welcome to the FIRST part of The Dating Game confidential! This is where you can find out what's happening in everyone that's been on "The Dating Game"'s lives, while they're not on the show! I'm the host, Billy. Feel free to call me Billette. Our first story includes Nicki and Brock's life in their expensive home. Yes, they live together. It's so that Brock can protect her 24/7. Stay tuned during the commercials to see what their lives are actually like.  
  
**Commercials**  
  
Is someone peeing in your window? Don't let them rain on your parade.  
  
Hi, I'm the Undertaker, and I have a sollution to all those times when people have rained on your parade. Try my new Undertaking umbrella! For the pee that keeps on Rollin' Rollin' Rollin'!  
  
(Batteries not included)  
  
**Back to the show**  
  
Billy: Welcome back. Onto The Brock&Nicki house!  
  
**Show's pictures of a huge mansion, then show the inside**  
  
Nicki: Welcome to our mansion!!! We're expecting an interviewer in a few minutes so just come with me to the kitchen and we can have some drinks. *Walks to the BIG kitchen and the camera man follows* What kind do you want?  
  
Cameraman: Uhm... Pop?  
  
Nicki: Ok, and what about you Brock?  
  
Brock: Water's good...  
  
Nicki: Ok, oh there's the door!! *Walks out of the room*  
  
Gregory: *Jumps out of the pantry* I'm here to interview you, Brock Lesnar!  
  
Brock: ...Why?  
  
Gregory: Something's been going on lately? What's up with this?  
  
Brock: Well... I've been trying to think of a way to...*whispers* propose...  
  
Gregory: When are you planning on it?  
  
Brock: In two weeks...  
  
Gregory: Bye! *Jumps away*  
  
Nicki: *Walks back into the room* What's up with that? Nobody was even there!  
  
Cameraman: Well that's all the time for this part of the show! See you in two weeks!  
  
Nicki: But you didn't even interview me! *Sighs*  
  
**Commercials**  
  
What?  
  
Before he could hear me...  
  
What?  
  
He heard my voice and it just brightened his smile.  
  
What?  
  
Now it's not the same.  
  
What?  
  
I'm Debra... Don't let going deaf get to you like it has to Steve Austin.  
  
What?  
  
Try The STONE COLD WHAT hearing aid!  
  
What?  
  
*Debra puts the hearing aid in Steve Austin's ear* How's that?  
  
Ahhh... Perfect.  
  
The STONE COLD WHAT hearing aid requires Special Stone Cold batteries. Look for one at a local WWELand near you.  
  
**Back to the Show**  
  
Billy: Next up, we have Amanda's oppinion on Stratusfaction. Then we have a special interview with Edge and Christian, for everyone who wants to know about why they don't like eachother anymore.  
  
**Commercials**  
  
*shows a garden, where Koto is busy trying to plant flowers*  
  
Koto: This is so stupid! *throws his spade* I just can't dig this!  
  
Booker T: Having problems with your garden?  
  
Koto: Yes!  
  
Booker T: Can you dig it, sucka?  
  
Koto: No, I can't!  
  
Booker T: Well try my new Sucka Shovel! *hands it to Koto*  
  
Koto: *digs a hole* Wow!  
  
Booker T: Now can you dig it, sucka?  
  
Koto: I can dig it! *digs another hole* I can dig it!  
  
Booker T: If you're having the same problems as Koto, buy my new shovel, sucka! For when you just can't dig it!  
  
** Back to Show**  
  
Am: Hi, I'm Amanda. Hostess of Pointless Talk, and part-time hostess of The Dating Game. I'm here to tell you my opinion on Stratusfaction. You see, at first I thought it was a horrible saying! I thought it implied so many bad things, and it made me angry! But then, I saw the light!  
  
*cheezy music plays*  
  
Am: I saw the light! And I realized the true meaning of Stratusfaction! It's not about... The 'Naughty Dance', as I once thought, but about her making her fans happy! Well, isn't that great and peachy-keen! Well, anyhow. My opinion on Stratusfaction is, it makes people happy, so why not? And that's a good thing! *giggles to herself*  
  
**Commercials**  
  
Announcer: Are you being bothered by the Undie-taker? Does the following re-enactment look familiar?  
  
*  
  
Jeff: *looking through his dresser* What the-?! Where's all my underwear?!  
  
*  
  
Announcer: You're probably suffering, not to mention not wearing underwear right now. Don't worry, I wasn't either. Until I found out about the New 'Undie-Taker Proof Undies'! Here's what it will be like after!  
  
*  
  
Jeff: *looking through his dresser* Yup, everything's still here! *gives the camera a thumbs up*  
  
*  
  
Announcer: So if you want to wear the Undie-wear, Buy our Product, and Undie-Taker Proof yourself NOW.  
  
**Back to Show**  
  
Gregory: Hi. A question all of the fans want to know abut you, Edge, and you, Christian. What's up with this?  
  
Edge: Well.... I don't know!  
  
Christian: *Looking away*  
  
Edge: I think it's because Christian has a jealousy problem, because I'm a better wrestler than him.  
  
Christian: *Throws his glass of water* I'm not jealous!  
  
Edge: Why're you getting so mad then, huh? I only suggested it!  
  
Christian: I was mad at the time! You won King of the Ring, what am I supposed to do, be happy for you?  
  
Edge: Well, duh!  
  
Christian: WHY?  
  
Edge: 'Cause!  
  
Gregory: Uhm...  
  
Christian: THERE IS NO REASON! *Punches the couch*  
  
Edge: *laughing hyterically* He's a spaz!  
  
Christian: Well I COULDN'T be happy for you! You should have let someone else be the King of the Ring and then NONE of this would have happened! *stomping*  
  
Edge: Stop throwing a fit! You're being a baby! *starts mocking Christian*  
  
Christian: *Teary-eyed* I can't help it... I need you and kazoos...  
  
Audience: Awwww.....  
  
Edge: I need you too, man! *hugz*  
  
Christian: Why can't we just be friends?  
  
Edge: We can! Look! *takes out a kazoo* Here! Let's play the theme!  
  
Christian: *Plays Edge's theme*  
  
Edge: You think you know me! You think you know me! You think you know me! You think-  
  
Christian: *Crying* Just like old times, buddy!  
  
Edge: Buddy!  
  
Christian: I've been wanting to give you this! *Hands Edge streamers*  
  
Edge: Cool! Streamers rock!  
  
Christian: Yeah!  
  
Edge: Long live the stream!  
  
Christian: Yeah! And long live the 'zoo!  
  
Edge: I missed you, man!  
  
Christian: I missed you too, man!  
  
Am: Awwww, isn't that positively SAPPY!  
  
Cooper: *hugs Christian and Edge*  
  
Stacy Keibler: *Throwing a fit* Why don't you pay attention to me?!  
  
Am: *whacks Stacy with a stop sign* Whoops, I slipped.  
  
Christian: No Stacy! I have my "brother" back! I don't need you!  
  
Am: You'd better not say that to me, Edge!  
  
Edge: Never!  
  
Am: Good! Yay, happy ending, let's go. Cooper's diaper needs to be changed.  
  
Stacy: *Cries and starts throwing things*  
  
Edge: Come on, Christian! We can go back to my place and PARTY!  
  
Christian: And have CAKE?  
  
Edge: Yeah!  
  
Am: *rolls her eyes* Woo. Party.  
  
Christian: Yeah! Cake rocks the body that rocks the party!  
  
**Commercials**  
  
For complete stratusfaction call 1-800-stratusfy-me.  
  
**Back to show**  
  
Billy: Thanks for watching The Dating Game Confidential! Tune in next time to see a tour of Edge and Am's house, a party story told by Edge and Christian, and Brock Lesnar proposing to Nicki! Bye bye! 


	10. The Ninth Show

The Dating Game  
  
Nicki: Welcome to The Dating Game!!!!! I'm the hostess, Nicki!!!!! Today we get to see Jeff Hardy get chased around!  
  
Jeff: No one told me that!  
  
Nicki: B-ette1 says she's a really big fan and she loves you.  
  
B-ette1: HI JEFF I WANT TO TOUCH YOUR HAIR AND LOOK INTO YOUR EYES!!!  
  
Jeff: *slaps himself in the forehead* Oh no...  
  
Am in audience: *speaking quietly to Edge* So you see, I had no clue she was a stalker until she got all funky just before the show...  
  
Edge in audience: Oooohhh...  
  
Jeff: Stalker?! What?!  
  
Stone Cold (Off Stage): What?  
  
Nicki: B-ette2 is into lying on the beach and showing off her legs.  
  
B-ette2: *Going psycho* I HAVE LEGS!!!  
  
Jeff: *crying* Why do I get all the psychoes?  
  
Nicki: B-ette3 says... What the hell??  
  
B3: RAVIOLI!!!!  
  
Nicki: Kane why are you here?! You're not... gay?  
  
Kane: *Walks out and grabs Nicki by the neck and lifts her off the ground* Ravi...oli...  
  
Am in audience: Woah, Kane! I have some for you right here! *pats the seat next to her* Come and sit down like a good Big Red Machine, and eat the loverly ravioli.  
  
Kane: *lets Nicki go and goes and sits down to eat* Ravioli.  
  
Am in audience: You're welcome, Kane.  
  
Nicki: *Shaking* B....b...*passes out*  
  
Brock: *Walks out and picks Nicki up, then carries her backstage*  
  
**Quick Intermission**  
  
Announcer: We're having some techinal difficulties, so, without further ado, here's Edge and Christian.  
  
Edge: Hey!  
  
Christian: *stops playing his kazoo* Wha----Huh?  
  
Edge: Dude, they put us on in our own little spot!  
  
Christian: Yeah! Cool! *Takes out streamers*  
  
Edge: Awesome! Streamers rule! Long live the stream!  
  
Christian: Yeah! And long live the 'zoo!  
  
Edge: I got an idea! Let's do my song! That's always entertaining!  
  
Christian: *Plays Edge's theme song*  
  
Edge: You think you know me! You think you know me! You think you know me! You think you know me! You think you know me! You think you know me! You think you know me! You think you-  
  
*they get cut off and one of those screens that beep for a long time comes on instead*  
  
*About ten minutes later*  
  
Announcer: We decided that screen was less annoying then those two, so we put it up instead. Sorry about that, folks. Back to the show.  
  
**Back to the Show**  
  
Raven: Welcome back... I'm your temporary host, Raven...  
  
Am in audience: Caw Caw! *giggles*  
  
Edge in audience: Nevermore! *snickering*  
  
Christian in audience: Yeah!  
  
Jeff: *looks on the verdge of tears again* I hope I'm getting paid for this...  
  
Raven: Now... bachelorette number three says... that.. Ok, sorry about this but we had to find a new bachelorette really fast... She says that she just loves all of the male wrestlers.  
  
B-ette3: Hello.  
  
Jeff: Can I ask now?  
  
Raven: Er... I guess...  
  
Jeff: Ok... B-ette 1... Are you border-line psychotic?  
  
B-ette1: I WANNA FEEL YOUR ABS!!  
  
Jeff: *looking scared* Er... B-ette 2... Same question.  
  
B-ette2: WHY DOESN'T ANYONE WANT MY LEGS????  
  
Jeff: Legs, right... *looking ready to run* Uhm... B-ette 3... Same question....  
  
B-ette3: No. Not even close...but, I do think you're good looking.  
  
Jeff: *looks relieved, but still uncomfortable* Uh... B-ette 1... If I were to have the Hardcore Title, and someone tried to take it from me, what would you do?  
  
B-ette1: MAKE LOVE TO ME JEFF!  
  
Jeff: *turns red* Err... Uh.. I... Uh.... Excuse me. *gets up and runs off the set*  
  
Am in audience: Security, catch him, he's running away!  
  
**Intermission**  
  
Kane: Ravioli.  
  
Ravioli: Kane.  
  
Kane: Ravioli.  
  
Ravioli: Kane.  
  
Kane: Ravioli.  
  
Ravioli: Kane.  
  
Kane: Ravioli.  
  
Ravioli: Kane.  
  
Kane: Ravioli.  
  
Ravioli: Kane.  
  
Kane: Ravioli.  
  
Ravioli: Kane.  
  
Kane: Ravioli.  
  
Ravioli: Kane.  
  
Kane: Ravioli.  
  
Ravioli: Kane.  
  
Announcer: CUT IT OUT ALREADY! Man.... Talking ravioli. *shakes head* I'm losing it. Back to the show.  
  
Kane: Ravioli.  
  
**Back to Show**  
  
Jeff: *all tied up in his chair* Please let me go! Please?  
  
B-ette1: I LOVE YOU JEFF HARDY! I'M YOUR LONG-LOST WIFE!  
  
Jeff: *sobbing* Let me go! I have to run away!  
  
Am in audience: Awww... Poor Jeff. Finish the show!  
  
Jeff: You have no compassion! Show some compassion! *sniffles*  
  
B-ette2: I'll show my... lllleeegs....  
  
Jeff: I CHOOSE BACHELORETTE 3!!!! 3!!!! PLEASE!!!! *looking as psychotic as the B-ette1 sounds*  
  
**Intermission**  
  
Am: Hello, I'm here to... Talk.  
  
Kane: Ravioli.  
  
Am: Yes, Kane. It's good. *gives him more ravioli* Eat it up like a good little Big Red Machine.  
  
Kane: *eating ravioli*  
  
Am: Well, to sum up the show so far, Jeff's lost his mind, along with B- ette 1 (who never had a mind to begin with), and B-ette 2, who's on the rebound still. Jeff thinks he can choose now, but he can't. He's only asked one question.  
  
Edge: But they 'are' scary... I'd want to choose quickly too.  
  
Am: Sh. Well, anyhow, security is busy holding Jeff down and administering a mild tranquilizer, because it seems he broke his ropes and started bashing the shit outta stuff. Like first Raven, and then he tried for the screen. Cooper stopped him.  
  
Cooper: *eating a banana*  
  
Am: Good Cooper.  
  
Kane: .....  
  
Am: Good Kane. Ok, I think we're ready to get back now.  
  
**Back to Show**  
  
Jeff: *sitting in his chair, with a VERY dazed expression*  
  
Kurt Angle: Hi. I'm the new-  
  
Am in audience: I saw your ass on TV! HAHAHAHA!  
  
Nicki: *Walks out shakily* Am... that's... confidential information...  
  
Am in audience: Yeah, I know! That's why the show is called 'Confidential'!  
  
Kurt: Er...  
  
Nicki: I can... Take care of this show now...  
  
Jeff: *drools*  
  
B-ette1: *Runs out from behind the screen and is a crazy fan* JEFF!! *licks his drool off his face*  
  
Jeff: I'm a wrestler....  
  
B-ette1: I'm so GLAD that you picked me!  
  
Jeff: One... One? *drools* Ok.  
  
Am in audience: That shouldn't count! He's drugged!  
  
Jeff: *giggles*  
  
Nicki: It counts... Cool.  
  
Kane: Ravioli... *Gets on stage*  
  
Nicki: *Screams and falls over, rolling around on the ground screaming*  
  
Jeff: *falls out of chair*  
  
Am in audience: ....this is messed up.  
  
Edge in audience: My head hurts...  
  
Jeff: *lying face-down on the floor* ow....  
  
Crazy Fan(B-ette1): Come on. *Picks up Jeff and carries him away*  
  
Nicki: *Curled up in a ball, trying to hide*  
  
Kane: RAVIOLI! *Walks over to Nicki*  
  
Am in audience: *gets up out of the audience and slaps Kane's shoulder* Bad Kane!  
  
Kane: *whimpers*  
  
Am: Nicki has no ravioli! I have it. Come on.  
  
Kane: *follows Amanda away*  
  
Edge: *picks up Cooper and leaves as well*  
  
Christian: *follows Edge*  
  
Audience: .....*leaves*  
  
Nicki: *Stands up and drinks tea*  
  
END 


	11. The Dating Special: Am-chan's Ten-Man Sp...

The SPECIAL Dating Game!  
  
A/N: Only Amanda writing this one! Sorry, Nicki is gone, and I was bored. This is what happened.  
  
Am: Welcome to the Dating Game Special! I'm your hostess, and bachelorette, Amanda!  
  
Edge: WHAT?! Bachelorette?! But... You... Me...  
  
Am: Oh, it's just for fun! Can it, Edgey! I won't break up with you.  
  
Edge: .......  
  
Am: Ok, today we have all of ten bachelors! I have no clue who they are! Well, ok, I do know a little bit... Ok, I know exactly who they are! So sue me!  
  
Kane: *points to his leg, which has someone glomping onto him*......  
  
Am: Hey, who are you?  
  
Starfallen: I'm Starfallen! Remember, I reviewed and asked if I could hug Kane's leg?  
  
Am: Oh yeah. Ok then. Go ahead. Ok, today's bachelors. Bachelor 1-  
  
B1: What?  
  
Am: .......  
  
B1: *waiting for Am to say something*  
  
Am: Ok-  
  
B1: What?  
  
Am: What?!  
  
B1: What?  
  
Am: What?  
  
B1: Wh-  
  
Edge: Ok, enough!  
  
Am: All right. Bachelor 2 is a short-shit, but that's ok, cause he's still pretty cute!  
  
B2: Really?  
  
Am: Yup!  
  
Edge: *looking jealous*  
  
Am: Bachelor 3-  
  
B3: FINALLY! Th... Bachelor 3 has come BACK to the Dating Game!  
  
Am: *rolls her eyes* I can't believe the people I chose here... Bachelor 4 is a tough-ass brawler! And he has cool hair! *giggles*  
  
B4: Hey.  
  
Am: Bachelor 5 has been on this show too many times, but he came back because his brother refused.  
  
B5: I'm only a replacement?!  
  
Am: Bachelor 6 is cool!  
  
B6: Of course, cause..... um... nevermind.  
  
Am: Bachelor 7 is a hon, when he's not jealous!  
  
B7: Greetings!  
  
Edge: !!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Am: *covers Edge's mouth* Bachelor 8 is an asshole sometimes, but that's only 'cause no one respects him!  
  
B8: Finally someone else realizes that!  
  
Am: Bachelor 9 is The Game!  
  
B9: Oh, didn't that give it away.  
  
Am: And Bachelor 10 is last, and the least!  
  
B10: Are you disrespecting me?!  
  
Am: *laughing*  
  
B10: I'll come out there and kick your ass!  
  
Am: Ok, B1. My-  
  
B1: What?  
  
Am: ..... Grrr.. Ok, my qu-  
  
B1: What?  
  
Am: WILL YOU STOP THAT?!  
  
B1:......  
  
Am: Thank you! *sighs* Ok, my question is. If I were a wrestler and had a match with Big Show, what would you do?  
  
B1: Help you! What? I said help you! And that's the bottom line, cause-  
  
Am: Wait! Don't give away your identity! *muttering* Like you haven't already. B2. How would you treat me if I were your girlfriend?  
  
B2: With respect, of course.  
  
Audience: Awwwww!  
  
Am: Cool. B3, it's my birthday. What do you give to me?  
  
B3: The People's Strudel!  
  
Am: *starts giggling like an immature little girl*  
  
Edge: *looks angry* You're not giving her any strudel! That's MY job!  
  
Am: Calm down, hon! He's just like that! *still giggling* B4, can I braid your hair?  
  
B4: No!  
  
Am: Aww... Ok, party-pooper. B5, what would you do if I told you I wanted to touch your hair and look into your eyes? *snickering*  
  
B5: ..... that's not funny.  
  
Am: B6, I'm sad and I need cheering up. What do you do?  
  
B6: I can stand on my head.  
  
Am: *shrieks gleefully* Cool!  
  
B6: I know!  
  
Am: B7, what's your favorite thing to do?  
  
B7: Party!  
  
Edge: *eye twitching*  
  
Am: *takes Edge's hand* Stop being so jealous. It's for fun! B8, what's your best feature?  
  
B8: My full head of hair. I already told you that!  
  
Am: *snickering* Ok, B9, if I got beaten up, what would you do?  
  
B9: Go after whoever did it.  
  
Audience: Awwww...  
  
Nicki in Quebec: HEYO! How come you get your own show, Amanda?!  
  
Brock in Quebec: ......  
  
Nicki in Quebec: You're so quiet...  
  
Am: Ahem. B10-  
  
B10: RESPECT ME!  
  
Am: .... B1, What-  
  
B1: What?  
  
Am: What, what? I said What?  
  
B1: ......  
  
Am: What's your favorite pasttime?  
  
B1: Drinking beer! What? I said Drinking Beer!  
  
Am: Ok. B2, how would you describe yourself?  
  
B2: Probably as a nice guy. And a tough guy!  
  
Am: B3, I think-  
  
B3: It doesn't matter what you think!  
  
Am: *shakes head* You're a weirdo. Ok, I think that you need a new gimmick in the WWE! what do you do?  
  
B3: I told you! It doesn't matter what you think!  
  
Am: B4, can I wear your Hardcore Belt?  
  
B4: Not unless I know you!  
  
Am: You're crabby! Man... B5, would you dye your hair purple for me?  
  
B5: .... Probably not.  
  
Am: Ok. B6, would you teach me your best wrestling moves?  
  
B6: Sure, that'd be cool!  
  
Am: *giggling more* I like you!  
  
Edge: *ready to go behind the screen and tear B6 to bits*  
  
Am: B7, can I braid YOUR hair?  
  
B7: Sure!  
  
Am: Sweet!  
  
Edge: That's it! *tears the screen down and started trying to beat everyone up* GET! GO!  
  
Christian: *shrieks* Edge lost it!!! *runs away*  
  
RVD: Let me go! *getting beaten up by Edge*  
  
Am: EDGE! You're ruining it!  
  
Undertaker: So it was YOU! *stomps over to Am* You disrespecting me?!  
  
Am: *laughs* Yeah! If you have a problem with that, you can take it up with my buddy, Kane!  
  
Kane: *trying to pry Starfallen off his leg*  
  
Am: Or with my boyfriend!  
  
Edge: *still beating RVD up*  
  
The Rock: Would the hostess like some *hip movements* Strudel?  
  
Am: *giggling again*  
  
Edge: *dives at The Rock and started beating him up*  
  
RVD: *crawls off the stage*  
  
Bradshaw: *gets in on the fight and starts beating up Edge*  
  
Am: Eep! Hey! Kane, go and get Edge for me!  
  
Kane: *running away from Starfallen*  
  
Starfallen: Come back! Cookie, come back!!!  
  
Am: *shrieks* Edge!  
  
Kurt: You know him out *pauses and produces a razor* And I'll shave his head!  
  
Am: *screams in terror* Oh no! No no no! *sobs* Somebody save him! SAVE HIM!  
  
Buster: *comes running in wearing a SECURITY shirt* (He's my dog, BTW)  
  
Annie: (Other dog) *follows him in*  
  
Dogs: *team up and attack Kurt Angle*  
  
Am: *tackles Bradshaw*  
  
Audience: WAHOO! FIGHT!  
  
Am: *pulling Bradshaw's hair*  
  
Bradshaw: You bitch! *pulls her hair back*  
  
Edge: *attacks Bradshaw and saves Amanda*  
  
Audience: AWWWWW!!!  
  
Am: My hero! *batting eyelashes* Wahoo! Go Edgey! *jumps up and down, then gets mowed down by Kane* Ouch...  
  
SF: Cookie, don't leave me!  
  
Kane: *screaming*  
  
Matt: *comes in and puts Amanda over his shoulder and leaves*  
  
Edge: *whistles to the dogs, then leaves*  
  
Buster: *steals Kurt's medals, and takes off*  
  
Kurt: !!!!!! THE DOG STOLE MY GOLD MEDALS!!!  
  
END 


	12. The Confidential Show #2

The Dating Game Confidential  
  
Billy: *tied up*  
  
Am: HAHAHA! *clears throat* Yes, it is I! I couldn't wait Seven more shows, I wanted the Confidential Special NOW! Oh, and my opinion on Y2JERKOFF, is simply that he's a jealous little f***er, and he needs to be thrown out of the WWE! *gives Edge a careful hug* Poor Edgey-poo...  
  
Edge: *trying to look helpless, and to hold back laughter*  
  
Am: Anyhow, I'm going to unleash a new host if Billette doesn't agree to host. *takes his gag from him* Well?  
  
Billy: I'll host! I like to!  
  
Am: Okey dokey! *happy smiles* Ok, see you later! *takes Edge's hand (NOT CONNECTED TO THE ARM THAT'S CONNECTED TO THE BAD SHOULDER) and leads him out*  
  
Billy: *clears throat* Welcome to the second part of The Dating Game Confidential, I'm your host, Billy! Feel free to call me Billette! *giggles* First we're going to Amanda and Edge's home, in Canada!  
  
*****  
  
Am: *opens the door wearing peach pjs* Oh! It's you guys! I wasn't ready yet, sorry! I just got out of bed. *giggles micherviously, then yells back into the house* EDGE! The camera crew is here! Oh, come on in. *steps back revealing a BIG parlour* There's room! *giggles again*  
  
Cameraman: *steps in and zooms in on Amanda's pjs*  
  
Am: Hey! Gimme a break, it was the only thing I could find! *turns from the camera in a huff and walks right into Gregory* What the-?! How did you get in here?  
  
Gregory: Inquiring minds want to know. When do you think Edge will 'Pop the Question'?  
  
Am: Er, marriage? I don't think he would. He's a single-type guy. You know?  
  
Gregory: But you two seem to enjoy each other's company!  
  
Am: True, true. But If he were to propose... I'd have to think a while for my reply. *nods* That's right. Ok, in here is the living room! *claps her hands* This is where I play piano concerts for Edge only! *plays a few notes with happy smile* This is also were the earlier recording of 'A Party Story' took place.  
  
Gregory: How often does Christian come around here?  
  
Am: Oh, every few days or so.  
  
Gregory: And they party every time? What's up with this?  
  
Am: Not every time. Oh, I was wondering when you were going to join us A- er... Edge.  
  
Edge: *plops down on the couch* Hey. *waves to the camera with his un- injured arm*  
  
Am: Edge! What... I mean, your clothes!  
  
Edge: *is only wearing those tight leather pants* (A/N: *drools*) What?  
  
Am: Can you at LEAST put a shirt on?  
  
Edge: Why?  
  
Am: All the girls... *trails off* Ok, fine. Don't wear a shirt. *sits down on his lap* Ok, Gregory, interview us!  
  
Gregory: Would you take a different seat, Mrs. Hunter?  
  
Am: How come? I'm comfortable here. *hugglez Edge, then tugs his hair playfully*  
  
Gregory: Ok... Edge, are you planning on marrying Amanda?  
  
Edge: *looks thoughtful*  
  
Am: *looking oddly nervous*  
  
Edge: Am I? *question is directed to Amanda*  
  
Am: I don't know, are you?  
  
Edge: I asked you!  
  
Am: But Gregory asked you!  
  
Edge: *takes a breath* I have to go. *gets up and leaves*  
  
Am: *sitting on the floor suddenly*.... Oh... Gregory.... *turns very ANGRY expression on Gregory* I'll KILL you!  
  
Gregory: Eep! *runs away*  
  
Am: *chases him* Get back here!  
  
Cameraman: Er.... *turns the camera around to face himself* I guess that's the end of the interview-  
  
Edge: No it's not. I'm back. *sits down on the couch again*  
  
Cameraman: So, why'd you leave?  
  
Edge: Yes.  
  
Cameraman: Huh?  
  
Edge: I'm answering the question. Yes, I am.  
  
Cameraman: *drops camera*  
  
Edge: What? It's not that shocking, is it?  
  
Gregory: *runs by screaming*  
  
Am: *runs, then slams on her brakes and stare at Edge* You're back!  
  
Edge: *gives the Cameraman a 'don't-f'n-tell' look*  
  
Cameraman: *picks his camera back up*  
  
Am: *looks pouty* Why'd you run away?  
  
Edge: No reason. *pulls Am back onto his lap*  
  
Am: *happy again*  
  
Cameraman: *innocently* Amanda, would you accept a proposal from Edge here?  
  
Am: *inclines her head* A proposal?  
  
Cameraman: Marriage.  
  
Am: *sits still for a second, then shrugs* I dunno. Would you want me to, Edge?  
  
Edge: Would you want to?  
  
Am: *sighs* I'm sick of this game! *gets up and faces Edge* YES! I would accept!  
  
Edge: *a smile slowly crosses his face* (A/N: You know the one. ^.^)  
  
Am: *inclines her head again*  
  
Edge: *goes down on one knee and takes out a pretty case* Amanda-  
  
Am: YES! *hugs Edge, forgetting about his shoulder*  
  
Edge: OW!  
  
Am: Sorry! Sorry! *cries* I'm so happy! I'm gonna be married!  
  
*****  
  
Billy: Err.... Ok, I thought Nicki and Brock were supposed to be the ones getting engaged? *reading the script* It doesn't say anything about them getting married in here!  
  
Chuck: It was spontaneous! *wipes his eyes* And it was so beautiful!  
  
Billy: Well, it's commercial time!  
  
**Commercials**  
  
Come in.  
  
Get out.  
  
Come here.  
  
Go Away.  
  
Are you confused?  
  
Well so are we!  
  
Thank you.  
  
No thank you.  
  
Come back soon.  
  
I never want to see your face again.  
  
*A picture of a cat with it's head stuck in a toilet shows up and underneath it says, "Get help. What's the point?"*  
  
**Back to show**  
  
Billy: Well... Just in, Nicki came back from Quebec.  
  
Chuck: Should we cut to the proposal then?  
  
Billy: Uhm... *Scratches head* I can't think right that commercial screwed up my brain.  
  
Chuck: What was it about?  
  
Billy: Weren't you watching on the little TV?  
  
Chuck: .... Yeah, but what was the point of it?  
  
Billy: I think it was an advertisement for the mental institution.  
  
Chuck: I guess that's where they expect people to go after that commercial.  
  
Billy: Yeah... So let's go to Nicki and Brock's house, where we have snuck in and hid cameras all around.  
  
*****  
  
Nicki: *Hangs up the phone* Amanda's getting married!  
  
Brock: Well... *Looks ponderous*  
  
Nicki: *Looks straight at the bowl of fruits where the camera is hidden, but doesn't see it* I want an apple.  
  
Brock: *Picks up an apple (Which by the way has the camera in it)*  
  
Nicki: Yeah that one! *Takes it*  
  
Christian: Hey cool! *takes the apple from her* Can I have a bite?  
  
Nicki: Sure!!!  
  
Christian: Hey! Look, a spider! *points*  
  
Nicki: OH MY GOD WHERE!! *Looks behind her*  
  
Christian: *throws the apple, which splatters noisly on the wall*  
  
Nicki: *Jumps and turns around* HEY! MY APPLE!  
  
Christian: It was an evil apple! EVIL! *runs away*  
  
Brock: ... *Scared looking*  
  
Nicki: Why so quiet?  
  
Brock: I'm just... thinking...  
  
Nicki: Oh well... *Eats a different apple* Lets go to the living room! *Walks to the living room with Brock*  
  
Brock: Well... I just wanted to know something.  
  
Nicki: *Sits on the couch, on the sides of two different cushions, where in between them is another camera*  
  
Christian: *picks her up and moves her to a different spot* It's an EVIL Cushion!!!!!! EVIL! *runs away again*  
  
Brock: Er... Maybe we should... go upstairs?  
  
Nicki: Good idea! *Skips to their bedroom, followed by Brock* What did you wanna know?  
  
*Camera is hidden behind the mirror on the dresser*  
  
Brock: Well... *Looks at the mirror*  
  
Nicki: Well what?? *Looks at the mirror too and sees.... A spider* AHH!!!! KILL IT!!!  
  
Brock: *Grabs a kleenex and hits the spider with it, cracking the mirror*  
  
Christian: *runs in, grabs the mirror, and runs away*  
  
Nicki: Uhm... Could we go to.... maybe the... gym?  
  
Brock: Good idea...... *Picks up Nicki and carries her to the gym*  
  
Nicki: Hmm... I wonder why Christian's bothering us....  
  
Brock: He's annoying.  
  
Nicki: Ok well..  
  
*Camera is in weight bench*  
  
Brock: Well I wanted to know if-*Trying to find something to do so that he can say it easier, so he picks up a weight and just kinda...lifts it*  
  
Nicki: If...  
  
Brock: If you would *Puts the weight down on the camera* If you would-  
  
Christian: NOOOO!!!! *body slams Brock* You can't! You can't! There's... A gas leak! You have to leave the gym! No.. The doors to hell just opened up in here, you have to leave!  
  
Brock: *Picks up Christian and throws him into the gym equipment*  
  
Christian: X_X  
  
Nicki: That's.... mean....  
  
Brock: Just come here! *Carries Nicki to the bathroom and locks the door*  
  
*Note: There's no camera in the bathroom*  
  
Christian outside the door: NO CAMERA! NO CAMERA! *something breaks*  
  
Nicki: IF YOU BREAK MY STUFF BROCK WILL BREAK YOU!!!  
  
*Sound of a body hitting the door*  
  
Christian outside: Ouch! *does it again* Ouch! Open up! *does it again* OUCH!  
  
Brock: Ok Nicki I just wanted to know if-  
  
Gregory /w Camera: *Smashes the window and climbs into the room* What's up with you?  
  
Brock: *Hits his fist on the door*  
  
Christian: *body checks the door again* OW!  
  
Gregory: How have you eluded our cleverly placed cameras? What's up with this?  
  
Christian: I tried to tell you! NO CAMERA! *sound of something else breaking* Whoops...  
  
Brock: *Opens the door*  
  
Christian: *visibly pales* Hello.  
  
Brock: GET OUT!  
  
Christian: *runs screaming down the stairs and out of the house*  
  
Brock: *Turns around to Gregory* You too...  
  
Gregory: But Brock, I'm here to record!  
  
Brock: Never mind it! YOU SCREWED IT UP! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!  
  
Gregory: *falls out the window*  
  
**Commercial**  
  
Little Boy Picking his nose: I CAN'T DIG IT!  
  
Booker T: That's because you're doing it ALL wrong! *Hands the kid a box of kleenexes* Use one of these!  
  
Little Boy: *Blows his nose on one* Wow!  
  
Booker T: Buy the new Booker Sneeze Kleenex!! Then you don't have to dig it!  
  
**Show**  
  
Nicki: What's...going on?  
  
Brock: NEVERMIND! *Storms out of the room*  
  
Am: Woah there, Brocky boy. Calm yourself.  
  
Brock: *Mumbles and leaves the house*  
  
Am: Man, what the hell was that all about? First Christian bowls me over looking as pale as a sheet, then Gregory falls out the window and hits the ground running, then Brock almost runs me down!  
  
Nicki: *Shocked*  
  
Am: Don't worry though! No one will spoil happy moments! *giggles* I was prepared.  
  
Nicki: Prepared... for what? *Teary-eyed*  
  
Am: For Brockly to get angry. Just wait. *faces the stairs and gestures to the open front door* Any second now.  
  
*Seconds pass*  
  
Am: Ok, it may take a little longer, this is Brock we're talking about here.  
  
*A couple more seconds pass.... and then...*  
  
RVD: Got Him!!!! *pulling Brock back into the house*  
  
Am: *sees Nicki's cynical expression* You think it was only Robbie? *laughs* Well, Rob was the one to bring him in, but I also had Spike, Matt, Jeff, Kurt, Bubba, and The Rock help stop him and bring him back. *waves happily to the guys popping into the house* Oh, and Edge helped a bit too, I'm sure. Injured shoulder or not.  
  
Edge: *enters the house clutching his shoulder* Ouch, ouch, ouch....  
  
Am: *glares for a second at Brock, then smiles happily again* Ok, do it!  
  
Spike: *locks the front doors, and then hides the key* Ok! Lock down complete!  
  
Am: *turns to Nicki* Nothing will spoil it! Not even Christian's mental state will interrupt.  
  
Nicki: Interrupt...what?  
  
Brock: I'm going to bed. *Walks up the stairs and goes into their room*  
  
Nicki: Er... *Follows him*  
  
Am: Uh-uh! ForGET it Brock! You'll do what you were SUPPOSED to do today, no matter WHAT mood you're in! It's not fair to make Nicki suffer just because Crazy Christian put you in a bad mood! *grabs him* Oh, hit me and you DIE. There are a few guys here who would avenge my death.  
  
Nicki: Just let him go and let him calm down. Geez. He won't calm down if you're bothering him!  
  
Paul Heyman: *Walks into the house* BROCK! *Screaming in his annoying voice*  
  
Nicki: Get.... out of my house. *Jumps down the stairs at him and starts punching him*  
  
Am: Save some for me! *grabs his hat and starts hitting him with it* Take that, slimy bastard!  
  
Spike: What about the plan?  
  
Am: Screw the plan, I'm having FUN! *laughs evilly and pulls his hair*  
  
Paul Heyman: *Laying on the ground with a broken back from Nicki flying at him fast*  
  
Brock: *Watching*  
  
Heyman: GET DOWN HERE AND HELP, BROCK!  
  
Brock: I'll help... *Walks down the stairs*  
  
Heyman: Thank you!  
  
Brock: *Picks him up and carries him upstairs*  
  
Am: Awww.....  
  
RVD: I wanted to hit him too!  
  
Brock: *Opens a window*  
  
Nicki: Ooh?  
  
Brock: *Throws him out the window, then locks it*  
  
Everyone: *cheers*  
  
Nicki: *Sits down*  
  
Brock: *Comes back downstairs*  
  
Nicki: You hurt me.  
  
Brock: I didn't touch you.  
  
Nicki: You yelled at me...  
  
Am: *silent*  
  
RVD: What-  
  
Am: Shh!  
  
Brock: Oh well...  
  
Nicki: You said you'd NEVER hurt me.  
  
Everyone: *looks scared about what might happen*  
  
Brock: I'm sorry.  
  
Nicki: *Teary-eyed* Never.  
  
Brock: Huh?  
  
Nicki: Nothing... Everyone's thinking that like I'm gonna break up with you.  
  
Brock: And... *Looks like he's gonna cry*  
  
Nicki: I said never.  
  
Everyone: *cheers*  
  
Brock: *A single tear rolls down his cheek*  
  
Nicki: *Sniffle*  
  
Brock: *Wipes it off and looks serious*  
  
Nicki: Thanks. You were gonna make me cry.  
  
Brock: Er. *Sits down beside Nicki*  
  
**Commercials**  
  
Am: Have you ever wondered what it would be like to wake up next to the one you love? How about how it would feel to wake up one morning to feel better than you ever have in your whole life? Well, on Happy Time with AllHailPrincessSmokey, you can! *shameless plug* On my show, I take a person, and I allow them to live their every dream!  
  
Kurt: You're a LIAR!  
  
Am: Shut up!  
  
**Back to Show**  
  
*Stunned silence in the room*  
  
Nicki: I'm sorry.  
  
Brock: ....... oh.  
  
Nicki: *Sniffle* I don't wanna... pretend...  
  
Brock: To like me?  
  
Nicki: No no... I do like you it's just not.... love....  
  
Brock: Oh... *Shuts his eyes*  
  
Am: *turns to the crowd of stunned people* Guys, I think we should go.  
  
Everyone (Except Am, and Edge): *leave*  
  
Am: Ok, Nicki, Brock, I think you two need some time apart.  
  
Nicki: Er...  
  
Brock: *Opens his eyes a little, but can't really see much because it's all teary/blurry*  
  
Am: *pats Brock on the shoulder* You need time to think, and so do you Nicki.  
  
Nicki: *Stands up* Well... There's... a problem...  
  
Brock: *Gets up slowly*  
  
Nicki: We only have... one house...  
  
Edge: Brock can stay with Am and I.... If he wants.  
  
Nicki: No... I think you should stay here Brock. It's all your stuff.  
  
Brock: *Looks around and wipes his eyes*  
  
Nicki: *Hugs Brock* Don't... let me hurt your feelings.... I'm just not sure... I'll go and stay with them... I don't want you to hate me or dislike me.  
  
Brock: Ok...  
  
Nicki: Bye... *Leaves*  
  
Am: Sorry, man....*hugs him sort of stiffly, then leaves*  
  
Edge: *looks at him for a second* Uh.. Do you want me to stay or something?  
  
Brock: I'll be ok on my own.  
  
Edge: You sure?  
  
Brock: Yes.  
  
Edge: Ok... See you later... *leaves*  
  
**Commercial**  
  
Trish: Somebody pissed in my garden!  
  
Fan: It was me.  
  
Trish: Who are you?  
  
Fan: Just another stratusfied customer.  
  
Trish: Why did you piss on my flowers?  
  
Fan: Its a token of my appretiation.  
  
Trish: *Shakes her head*  
  
Fan: Are you getting this buddy?  
  
Fan#2: Got it! HURRY!  
  
Fan: *Kisses Trish and then runs away*  
  
Trish: Uhm...  
  
Taker: I told you to set up those Undertaking umbrellas over the flowers!  
  
**Back to Show**  
  
Billy: Now wasn't that... Sad... *Bawling*  
  
Chuck: *crying too* That was the saddest thing I have ever seen!  
  
Rico: *Sniff Sniff*  
  
Billy: I'm sorry... I can't do this! That's all for today! Next time, a party story by Edge and Christian, Trish's life with a man that deserves lots of respect, and...Er... I guess Brock/Nicki and their lives on their own... *Blows his nose with Booker Sneezes*  
  
END 


End file.
